worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
