im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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