woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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