Im at strip club and am horny
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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