You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
