It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Randomize
