Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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