Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
