That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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