Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
