I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize