We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
