Already got asked if we're dating
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
