please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
