Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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