Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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