Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
