You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
