She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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