Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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