I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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