Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
