based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You pole danced in your parka.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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