I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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