$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want her autograph on my taint
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
