we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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