It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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