WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
