I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize