I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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