So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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