when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The Olympian is in my bed
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
