i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
