i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
