The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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