Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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