I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
