puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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