escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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