just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
