I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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