the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Buhtt sex?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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