i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
