And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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