i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
