Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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