look no pants
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
