Plan B is the new Plan A
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
