I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
