Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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