For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
