Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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