dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
