I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize