There is no way he is gay with that hair.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
