dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
