the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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