i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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