So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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