His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
