Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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