Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
