you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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