The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
