This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So much rum. So many feels.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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