I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
