he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
